Nollag shona daoibh 2015.........

.....from a cold and damp Ireland!

That's Merry Christmas to you non Irish speakers, it's "Nollag shona duit" if are saying it to just one person!!

If that's your thing!

Merry Christmas everyone!

The Complete Military History of France,............

.......is this a fair account? Seemingly an old piece but apologies to the French especially the military, French bloggers and French friends I used to have and know:P, well technically there was probably a few Irish involved on both sides!

On my way to fecking London for a job interview with a reasonable chance of getting it (he says, well a friend put a good word in for me), stuck in a suit and tie in this fecking heat!

The Complete Military History of France

- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

Feeling a bit Irish today, the Rejects at Cavalier 2013, security at work and more Boobs!

Meant to take pictures today of some 15mm office chairs from Shapeways but left my camera at home and so did Ray but a good few Rejects will travel to Tonbridge tomorrow for Cavalier 2013 and will hopefully have pictures for you on Monday of the show (if I remember the fecking camera), so if you see a very large individual with strawberry blonde hair (with a lot of grey) and a face like a bulldog licking urine off a nettle wandering aimlessly come up and say hello!

Ray not only left his camera at home but his brains, Ray in one of those rare occasions (even rarer he paid) went to get some burger and bacon rolls with fried onions when the boss called asking to speak to him and I said that he was on patrol and would be back in 10mins and I would get him to ring her back.....

Lurker: The boss rang, I told her you were down the snack wagon!
Ray: You're a bollox!
Lurker: Yes I am!
Ray(on phone): Hello dear, I was on patrol.....
Boss: You were out buying bacon sandwiches....
Ray: I was not, I was on patrol....
Boss: Francis told me you were....
Ray: Okay I was....
Lurker (shouting): Unbelievable, you're an idiot Ray I told her nothing of the sort....
Boss: Ha Ha!

Women are sneaky........

Well maybe one day............

....and because some people asked!

15mm Modern Insurgents or Freedom Fighters and......

......well done to Katie Taylor who won Ireland's first ever Olympic gold medal, bloody proud of her!

....and now on to the insurgents/freedom fighters, figures are from Peter Pig (best 15mm faces in the business) and represent those people who cause problems for other people!

The leader........

Never Forget.....Ever.

....a lot of Irish boys including family.